Tag Archives: three wishes

Bear and the rabbit revenge …

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The three wishes …

Shared by Bear Tales follower John.

Three men – a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and an Aussie are all walking together one day.

They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.

‘I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total’, says the Genie.

The Canadian says, ‘I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada ‘

POOF! With the blink of the Genie’s eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.

Osama was amazed, so he said, ‘I want a wall around Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.’

POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie’s eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.

The Aussie says, ‘I am very curious about this wall. Please tell me more about it.’

The Genie explains, ‘Well, it’s about 5,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out – it’s virtually impenetrable.’

The Aussie sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lights a cigarette, smiles and says,

‘Hey Genie, I wish you would fill the fucker with water!’

That's crazy

That’s crazy

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Eternal life or eternal waiting …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Ed.

A man is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.

He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.

A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.

The man thinks for a moment and says, “I want to live forever.”

“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”

“OK, then, I want to die after a Labor government balances the budget and eliminates the debt.”

“You crafty little bastard” said the genie.

That’s crazy

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A family driving holiday …

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A family is driving in their car on holidays.

A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car.

He gets out and takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road.

The frog is grateful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish.

The man says, “Please make my dog win the next dog race.”

The frog asks to look at the dog, which limps out of the car.

The frog notices that the dog only has three legs, it very fat, and can barely move at all so he tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfil his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish.

The man says, “Well, then please make my wife win the next beauty contest in the area.

The frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car.

Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.

The frog turns to the man and says, “Could I please have another look at the dog?”

 

Bet you are laughing

Bet you are laughing

Bear is laughing

Bear is laughing

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The cat lady’s three wishes …

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A woman was cleaning her attic with her cat by her side for company.

Amongst the boxes and old papers she found a little lamp.

She picked it up and wiped it off with her apron, when “POOF” out popped Genie.

 

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“I will grant you three wishes” proclaimed the Genie.

The woman thought for a moment and said “I wish I was the most beautiful 20 year old woman in the world, I wish I had more money than I knew what to do with, and I wish you would turn my cat into the most handsome prince around.”

The Genie nodded and after a huge cloud of dust cleared, the Genie was gone and so was the lamp.

The woman looked at herself and she was certainly beautiful. She was surrounded with scads of money in large bills. She flung an armful in the air and watched it flutter down around her. She giggled with delight at the mountains of cash.

Then she turned to look where her adoring cat once stood.

There in the feline’s place stood a tall, dark, handsome man with chiseled features, a washboard stomach, broad shoulders, and a soccer-players-tush.

She walked over to him, he put his arms around her, brushed his hand upon her cheek, looked deep into her eyes and whispered softly, “Now, aren’t you sorry that you had me neutered?”

 

I know you are laughing

I know you are laughing

Bear is laughing

Bear is laughing

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Be careful what you wish for …

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A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle.

He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie.

The genie says “Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes.”

The man says “Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account.”

Phoof!

There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand.

He continues, “Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here.”

Phoof!

There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him.

He continues, “Finally, I want to be irresistible to women.”

Phoof!

There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

 

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Bear is laughing

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Three wishes …

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A WOMAN RUBBED A BOTTLE AND OUT POPPED A GENIE. THE AMAZED WOMAN ASKED IF SHE GOT THREE WISHES.

The genie said, “Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So … what’ll it be?”

The woman did not hesitate. She said, “I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony.”

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, “Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I’m out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years.. I’m good but not THAT good!

I don’t think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable.”

The woman thought for a minute and said, “Well, I’ve never been able to find the right man. You know, one that’s considerate and fun, romantic, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is good in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn’t watch sports all the time, and is faithful.

That is what I wish for … a good man.”

The genie let out a sigh and said, “LET ME SEE THE DANG MAP AGAIN.”

 

I know you had a laugh

I know you had a laugh

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