Tag Archives: Sexuality

Sex with the housewife …

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Hope you had to laugh

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Give a kiss for food – Just For Laughs Gags …

Must watch so funny

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I am laughing so hard!

Please visit past Just For Laughs Gags for many more I love them.

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BOOTY GRAB Pranks- Just For Laughs Gags …

Must watch so funny

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I am laughing so hard!

Please visit past Just For Laughs Gags for many more I love them.

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Research shows that there are seven kinds of sex …

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The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. *This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. You still have sex – occasionally – and if you do, you only have it in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say ‘F you.’

The 5thkind of sex is called: Religious Sex. * Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex. *This is when you cannot stand your wife/husband any more. He/she takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Pension Sex. *You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself.

PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO TELL ME WHAT STAGE YOU ARE AT!!!

I have enough problems of my own!!

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I know you had a laugh

I know you had a laugh

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Joining the church …

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A young couple wanted to join the church, the priest told them, ‘We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for one whole month.’

The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church. When the priest ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed.

‘You are back so soon…Is there a problem?’ the priest inquired.

‘We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.’ The young man replied sadly.’

The priest asked him what happened.

‘Well, the first week was difficult… However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, Prayer, reading from the Bible….anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts.

One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,’ admitted the man, shamefacedly.

The priest lowered his head and said sternly, ‘You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.’

‘We know.’ said the young man, hanging his head, ‘We’re not welcome back at Bunnings either.’

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Still laughing

Bet you laughed

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Celibacy …

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A touching story………….

What is Celibacy?

Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Guidence Weekend,
My wife and I, listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other..”

He then addressed the men, “Can you name and describe your wife’s favourite flower?”
I leaned over, touched my wife’s hand gently and whispered, “Self-raising, isn’t it?”
And thus began my life of celibacy……….

Bet you laughed

Bet you laughed

Source: Email chain.

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$7 well spent …


A older couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist’s office.
The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?’
The man says, ‘Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?’
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..’

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good bye.

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row.

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, ‘I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?’

The man says, ‘We’re not trying to find out anything.

She’s married; so we can’t go to her house.

I’m married; and we can’t go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving my net cost of $7.

SHAME ON YOU FOR LAUGHING AT THAT…

Source: Email chain.