Tag Archives: man and a woman

Women are clever bitches …

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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes.”

The woman freed the frog and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes—that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better?”

The woman said, “That would be o.k.,” and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to.”

The woman replied, “That will be o.k. because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me.”

So, KAZAM, she’s the most beautiful woman in the world.

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you.”

The woman said, “That will be o.k. because what is mine is his and what is his is mine.”

So, KAZAM, she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d like a MILD heart attack.”

MORAL OF THE STORY: Women are clever bitches. Don’t screw with them.

Still laughing

Still laughing

Source: Email chain.

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Labor pain transfer …

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A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mothers pain to the baby’s father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10%, for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain the father had ever experienced before. However, as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and “kick it up a notch.”

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husbands blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing at this point, they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby boy with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mail man was dead on the porch.

Still laughing

Still laughing

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When you get angry …

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There once was a man and a woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They talked about everything. They kept no secrets from each other except that the old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she cautioned her husband never to open it or ask her about it.

For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.

When he opened it he found 2 beautifully crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling over $25,000. He asked her about the unusual contents.

“When we were married,” she said, ” my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily.”

The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.

“Sweetheart,” he said… “that explains the doilies, but what about all this money? Where did it all come from?”

Oh,” she said, ” that’s the money I made from selling the doilies.”

Still laughing

Still laughing

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