Tag Archives: laughs

RED SKELTON’S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE …

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1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was. She told me, “In the lake.”

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said, “No, jump in!”.

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was ‘Always’.

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, “What’s on the TV?”
I said, “Dust!”.

Can’t you just hear him say all of these?

I love it. These were the good old days when humor didn’t have to start with a four letter word. It was just clean and simple fun. And he always ended his programs with the words, “And May God Bless” with a big smile on his face.

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Shared on Facebook 04 02 19 thought you might enjoy

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My Saturday afternoon …

Thought you should know

Bear Tales

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New wine for seniors …

Had to share again

Bear Tales

Contributed by Bear Tales follower Hillary.

A GLASS OF WINE BEFORE TURNING IN …

Wine

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted nights sleep.

NEW Wine for Seniors I kid you not …

Clare Valley vintners in South Australia, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as PINO MORE!

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I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE!

Grapes

I just could not help it!

I know you are laughingI know you are laughing

Bear is laughingBear is laughing

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Pet kangaroos for Aussie Day …

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY EVERYBODY

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Bear hasn’t got this close yet. I have a female who with her 2 joeys comes around to watch me in the garden 🤣

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Have a good day Bear

for Australia Day

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Nigel the great Aussie hunter …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Ian B.

This is really funny if you are an Aussie …

Now that is funny! If you know the original source let us know there might be more funny stories about Nigel.

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Try not to be a c**t …

Bear is speechless …

 All bear can say is try not to

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The poor guy …

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Sorry …

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