Tag Archives: Bear

Bear and the rabbit revenge …

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Bear disturbing

Hope you had to laugh

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You need a pet Bear girls …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Bear


If you are a beautiful female you really need a pet Bear.

Bear is up for adoption …

 

Honestly I make a good pet and have other attributes …

Bear plug in

but I have a few bad habits …

Bear trashed

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The mother in law …

Bear went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.

One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.

Rushing to Bear, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.

Bear picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.

In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.

The wife said, ”What are we going to do?”

”Nothing,” said Bear, ”The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”

interviewer-mother-in-law

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Bear likes

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Only in Russia …

Only in Russia

You will not believe what you are seeing …

I told you that you would not believe it!

That's crazy

That’s crazy

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Bear likes swimming …

 

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Bear got in a fight …

Funny gags I know you will love them

“A pair of bears caught rummaging through trash in a residential New Jersey neighborhood apparently weren’t prepared to share the goods with each other. (Courtesy of Tracey Bednash)”

I am laughing so hard! LMAO 😉

I know you had a laugh

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How many …

Contributed by Bear Tales follower Leslie …

sheep herder

 

A farmer named Bear was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asks the farmer, ‘If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?’

Bear looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers; ‘Sure, Why not?’

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .

Within mere seconds, he receives an email that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, ‘You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.’

‘That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,’ says Bear.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bear says to the young man, ‘Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?’

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, ‘Okay, why not?’

‘You’re a Member of Parliament’, says Bear.

‘Wow! That’s correct,’ says the yuppie, ‘but how did you guess that?’

‘No guessing required!,’ answered Bear. ‘You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you don’t know a thing about cows…this is a herd of sheep…so now give me back my dog!’

Bear is not having a dig at politicians or anything … not.

 

That's crazy

That’s crazy

Bear is laughing

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