Tag Archives: Bar joke

Dad takes daughter for first drink …

 

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I took my daughter out for her first drink…

While reading an article about fathers and sons drinking together, I remembered the time I took my daughter out for her first drink.

Off we went to our local bar only two blocks from the house.

I got her a Guinness. She didn’t like it, so I drank it.

Then I got her a Killian’s she didn’t like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought she might like some Harp Lager? She didn’t. I drank it.

I thought maybe she’d like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson’s; nope!

In desperation, I had her try that 25 year old Glenfiddich. The bar’s finest scotch. She wouldn’t even smell it. What could I do but drink it!

By the time I realized she just didn’t like to drink, I was so sh*t-faced I could hardly push her stroller back home!!!


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Two Irishmen wanted a drink real bad …


Bear is saying nothing

A man walks into a bar and it is happy hour …

and it was happy hour!


Siamese twins walk into a bar …

Don’t like driving on the right side it is all wrong LOL 😉

Bear Tales

Contributed by Bear Tales follower John.

Siamese twins walk into a bar in Australia and park themselves on a bar stool.

One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us; we’re joined at the hip. I’m John, he’s Jim. Two Fosters beers, draft please.”

The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. “Been on holiday yet, lads?”

“Off to America next month,” says John. “We go to America every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don’t we, Jim ?” Jim agrees..

“Ah, America!” says the bartender. “Wonderful country … New York, L.A, Vegas ……”

“Nah, we don’t like that American crap,” says John.

“Meat pies and Fosters beer, that’s us, eh Jim? And we can’t stand the Yanks – they’re so arrogant and rude.”

“So why keep going to America?” asks the bartender.

“It’s the only chance that Jim gets to…

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Jack and the blonde …

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The sickest joke of all time …

Warning: This is one Sick joke


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Tramp walks into a bar and says to the bar man “Hey have you got a cocktail stick?”

The barman says “Sure” and gives him one.

Another tramp walks into the bar and says to the barman “Hey friend have you got a cocktail stick?”

The barman says “Okay” and gives him one.

A third tramp walks into the bar and says to the barman “Hey dude have you got a straw?”

The barman says “Hold on a minute two tramps before has just asked for cocktail sticks and now you’re asking for a straw what the hell is going on?”

The third tramp says “Well someone has been sick outside and all the best bits are gone”

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The best Irish joke …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Ian


AN oldie but still good for a laugh!

VOTED BEST JOKE IN IRELAND

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John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night.”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street Corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep”.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE GOING TO SEND THIS ON …


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Thanks Ian I know an oldie but had to laugh again.

We are laughing

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