Tag Archives: Aussie sex

Newly married sort it out …

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Sex wearable is coming to track your performance and judge you – Fitbit for your man bits …

Do you want to be monitored during your performance?

The i.Con Smart Condom, which markets itself as the “world’s first smart condom,” is actually a ring that fits over a boring, dumb condom and claims to track the exercise of your man bits, as well as detect chlamydia and syphilis.

“It’s basically a Fitbit for your man bits that tracks thrust speed and velocity. But don’t be too hard on yourself.

According to the preorder page, the ring will answer questions such as:

  • What’s my thrust velocity?
  • How fast are my thrusts?
  • How many calories did that sesh just burn?
  • How many times did I just have sex?
  • What’s the average skin temperature of my… eggplant?
  • What’s my girth?
  • How many different positions did I just conquer?

Plus, it aims to answer that age-old question: How do I stack up at sex to everyone else around the world? Because sure, let’s gamify sex. What could go wrong?”

BEAR IS BEING SERIOUS THIS IS TECHNOLOGY OF THE FUTURE

Please visit source: Smart condom ring i.Con is like a Fitbit for your man bits – CNET

The pickup line …

Women Inserting Glitter In Their Vaginas …

“Passion Dust is a glittery, candy-flavoured dust designed to be placed inside your lady parts, and will reportedly add a little pizzazz to your late-night bedroom time. Makers Pretty Woman Inc describe it as “a sparkalized capsule that is inserted into the vagina at least one hour prior to having sexual intercourse”.”

Dangerous New Trend Has Women Inserting Glitter In Their Vaginas …

“As the capsule becomes increasingly warmed and moistened by the natural vaginal fluids it will begin to dissolve releasing the sparkling, candy flavoured passion dust inside of the capsule. [It’s] just enough to make your lover feel that your Yara (water-lady or little butterfly) is what all vaginas are supposed to look, feel and taste like; soft, sweet and magical!”

You are kidding Bear right?

Source: Dangerous New Trend Has Women Inserting Glitter In Their Vaginas

WHY?


Free sex …


Bear knows it is free he has verified this …


Hope you had a laugh.

Bear signature

John bought a bull …

A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.”

“Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested.

A week later John reports back to his friend, and he’s much happier.

“The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbour’s cows! He’s like a machine!”

“What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend.

“I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.”

Source: A week after John bought a bull…


13th annual World Naked Gardening Day Sat. May 6th, 2017 …

Bear thought you needed to know about this although a lot of my followers are probably preparing for this major event …

“Get ready for the Annual World Naked Gardening Day (WNGD)! People across the globe are encouraged, on the first Saturday of May, to tend their portion of the world’s garden unclothed as nature intended … Events like WNGD can help develop a sense of community among people of every stripe. Taking part in something that is bigger than any one household, naturist group, or gardening club can move gardeners with an au naturel joie de vivre toward becoming a community. And in the case of WNGD, it’s fun, costs no money, runs no unwanted risk, reminds us of our tie to the natural world, and does something good for the environment.” WNGD

13th annual World Naked Gardening Day (Sat. May 6th, 2017)!

Are you convinced Bear is just needs a few female helpers for his garden. Volunteers can contact Bear via this page.

Source: 13th annual World Naked Gardening Day (Sat. May 6th, 2017)! – JobbieCrew.com and World Naked Gardening Day.

Have fun people