Do you want to be monitored during your performance?
The i.Con Smart Condom, which markets itself as the “world’s first smart condom,” is actually a ring that fits over a boring, dumb condom and claims to track the exercise of your man bits, as well as detect chlamydia and syphilis.
“It’s basically a Fitbit for your man bits that tracks thrust speed and velocity. But don’t be too hard on yourself.
According to the preorder page, the ring will answer questions such as:
What’s my thrust velocity?
How fast are my thrusts?
How many calories did that sesh just burn?
How many times did I just have sex?
What’s the average skin temperature of my… eggplant?
What’s my girth?
How many different positions did I just conquer?
Plus, it aims to answer that age-old question: How do I stack up at sex to everyone else around the world? Because sure, let’s gamify sex. What could go wrong?”
BEAR IS BEING SERIOUS THIS IS TECHNOLOGY OF THE FUTURE