Category Archives: General

Today’s jokes 15 February 2014 …

Some of my old jokes!

Bear Tales

Funny jokes being shared around today we all need to laugh some more …

Come here often Come here often

Seating .

0000000000 .

6ad38a04-ed09-4313-a43b-bd9f2f7eddaf .

12095_626591377413472_1607631481_n The guy who wrote this didn’t survive Valentines day either

1604434_644912098879582_373471998_n The cat didn’t think much of Valentines day.

1619276_626327374106539_1259485505_n .

1779359_625868890819054_796865232_n No comment I want to survive

1779804_625869017485708_609256521_n .

1782099_10153800791600043_897011301_n .

1932444_626388204100456_846819137_n Yep I bet there are a lot of guys in deep water.

Hope at least one made you laugh.

Bear is laughingBear is laughing

I know you are laughingI know you are laughing

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For Belinda …

Breathtaking views it was a great day with a friend who has now past. So sad we had great times.

Bear Tales

For my friend Belinda at (Belinda is ill and seeing the world through her friends.)

These are taken from Springbrook, Queensland, Australia at the aptly named “The best of All Lookout”. They are an eastern view down to the Gold Coast and Tweed Valley. Enjoy Belinda.


Hope you enjoyed hottie LOL ;). This is close to where I live on Tamborine Mountain.

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She needs a husband …

Do you like vibrators?

Bear Tales


A mother was walking down the hall when she heard a humming sound coming from her daughter’s bedroom.

When she opened the door she found her daughter naked on the bed with a vibrator.

What are you doing?” she exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

Later that week the father was in the kitchen and heard a humming sound coming from the basement.

When he went downstairs, he found his daughter naked on the sofa with her vibrator.

“What are you doing?” he exclaimed.

The daughter replied, “I’m 35 and still living at home with my parents and this is the closest I’ll ever get to a husband.”

A couple of days later the mother heard the humming sound again, this time in the living room.

In there, she found her husband watching…

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Sign in doctor’s office …

Do you need Viagra?

Bear Tales

I’m sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor’s offices on everything from tissues to note pads.

This one should get first prize …

. .

I emailed it to my Japanese doctor friend he e-mailed back: “If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician.”
(This make me raugh out rowd).

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Bet you had a laughBet you had a laugh

Source: Email chain.

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Research shows that there are seven kinds of sex …

I have enough problems of my own!!

Bear Tales

. .

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. *This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. You still have sex – occasionally – and if you do, you only have it in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex * This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say ‘F you.’

The 5thkind of…

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The face lift …

Have you had a facelift?

Bear Tales


A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday.

He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the result.

On his way home he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the salesclerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 35,” was the reply. “I’m actually 47,” the man says, feeling really happy.

After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch, and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, “Oh you look about 29.”

“I am actually 47.” This makes him feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.

She replies, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a mans age. If I put…

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Children’s questions …

Did you get an “F” for sex?

Bear Tales

Bear Tales follower Ian shared this with us.


A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play day.

‘Mummy ,’ the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’

‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied. ‘It’s not polite.’

‘OK’, the little girl says, ‘What colour was your hair 2 years ago?

‘Now really,’ the mother says, ‘those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’

Undaunted, the little girl asks, ‘Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’

‘That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!’

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

‘My Mum won’t tell me anything about herself,’ the little girl says to her friend.

‘WELL’ says the friend, ‘all you need to do is look at her DRIVER’S LICENSE. It’s like our school reports, it has everything on it.’

Later that night the…

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