Joe says to Paddy: “Close your curtains the next time you’re
shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at
you yesterday.” Paddy says: “Well the joke’s on them stupid bastards
because I wasn’t even at home yesterday.”
Mick walks into Paddy’s barn and catches him dancing naked and
playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, “Jesus Paddy,
what ya doing?” Paddy says, “Well me and Mary haven’t been getting
on in the bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something
sexy to attracter…..
Paddy says to Mick – I’m ready for a holiday, only this year I’m
going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary
got pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant.
Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks – So
what are you going to do this year? Paddy replies, – I’ll bloody
take her with me!
Paddy says to Mick, “Christmas is on a Friday this year”…. Mick
says “Let’s hope it’s not the 13th.”
Paddy & Mick find three hand grenades, so they take them to a police
station. Mick: “What if one explodes before we get there?” Paddy:
“We’ll lie and say we only found two.”
Paddy’s in the bathroom and Mick shouts to him. “Did you find the
shampoo?” Paddy says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just
f***ing wet mine.”*
Bear says don’t be like Paddy and Mick!