Non PC jokes …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Ian.

I don’t know why they are called non PC jokes Ian I think they are just funny.

too-funny-cartoon-joke

Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper.
I woke up this morning with a huge correction.

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My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60’s group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking … And then I saw her face; now I’m a believer…

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My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Redhead matches.
His little face lit up when he tried to walk… unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.

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I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards.
All I said was, ‘Hurry up for Christ’s sake … Some of us have got homes to go to!’

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Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready!

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Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s voice from the kitchen,
‘What do you feel like for dinner my love…chicken, beef or lamb?’
I said, ‘Chicken, please.’
She replied, ‘You’re having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat.’

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Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he’s mainly black and brown with a small white patch… so I’ve named him England.

That's crazy

That’s crazy

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