These are funny …
Bet you had a laugh!
These are funny …
Bet you had a laugh!
I don’t know whether this is genuine or not but I know I had a laugh …
“Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman.
The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published in the Times.
I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month.
By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account ?30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I notice that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an OFFENCE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contract which I require your chosen employee to complete.
I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public figure, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Let me level the playing field even further.
When you call me, press buttons as follows:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALLING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH
#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.
Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 to 9
#9. To make a general complaint or enquiry.
The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.
Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.
May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year?
Your Humble Client
Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to piss us off.”
Hope you had a laugh.
Source: Email chain.
I received this email (in my junk folder):
From: Khazin Razbani [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Thursday, 24 January 2013 5:48 PM
Subject: RE:Urgent Need.
My name is Khazin Razbani.I am a Financial Attorney.Can I ask for your urgent assistance and co-operation to re-profile and transfer the sum of $4.8 Million United State Dollars from a bank to your account as the next of kin to a deceased client of mine who died with out a will?.Since your share the same last name with him.
I will give you %40 of the total sum for your assistance and co-operation once the money is transferred to your account.
I promise and give you a 100% guarantee and assurance there will never be any problem for you in this transaction and all safety and risk free from it.I will give more details when I get a positive response from you.
This was my response to the email:
What do you think we are all dills you arsehole. I am going to find you and kick you good.
These types of scams really anger me. I have reported it and if I can will find them will make them sorry. Please excuse my anger but to me this dishonesty should not be tolerated.
If you haven’t already this is a must view …
Go to this page and have a look around Zeitgeist 2012.
I am a great fan of Google software. It has changed my world immensely with voice searches on my mobile to searches for images not labelled that I find on the net. That is not to forget their incredible mapping software. It may have even made me smarter LOL.
Have a look around their page I think you will find it extremely interesting Zeitgeist 2012.
Hope you enjoyed.
These are funny please click an image for the slide show …
Bet you had a laugh.
Scam Alert: Don’t be fooled by the sneaky use of the Skype logo… this email is a scam! The links lead to a malicious site designed to steal your account login details.
Skype confirm they never request this kind of information via email on their site: http://www.skype.com/intl/en/security/
Anyone else received this one?
My mate and I have both received the email.
During a recent PASSWORD AUDIT at the Bank of Ireland it was found that Paddy O’Toole was using the following password:
When Paddy was asked why he had such a long password: he replied ”Bejazus! are yez all stupid? Shore Oi was told me password had to be at least 8 characters long and include one capital”
Source: Email chain.
I used to get a lot of emails threatening if I did not forward something evil would happen to me or I would not win a million dollars. They seem to have virtually stopped now maybe because I had replied to the message with this graphic. Thank you so much to whoever created it originally. Sorry about the “F” word.
This is probably very good advice. I have been using RoboForm and AVG Internet Security for some time now so I don’t have to remember passwords. RoboForm does it for me on all devices. Anyway have a read of this Blog Don’t use a password; it’s time to use a “passphrase”.
Hope it is of benefit to you.
Beware of this one.