Source: By Bear.
Mike and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they carefully watched their pennies.
One day, their good health didn’t help when they went on a vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.
They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, ‘Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.’
Mike asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. ‘Why, nothing,’ Peter replied, ‘remember, this is your reward in Heaven.’
Mike looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth..
‘What are the greens fees?,’ grumbled Mike..
‘This is heaven,’ St. Peter replied. ‘You can play for free, every day.’
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch.
‘Don’t even ask,’ said St. Peter to Mike. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.’
Mike looked around and nervously asked Yvonne ‘Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?’
‘That’s the best part,’ St. Peter replied. ‘You can eat and drink as much as you like and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!’
‘No gym to work out at?’ said Mike
‘Not unless you want to,’ was the answer.
‘No testing my sugar or blood pressure or…’
Have a happy life and give someone a smile.
Source: Email chain.
These are funny please enjoy …
Bet you had a laugh!
My “friends” kept sending images of shoppers at Walmart. So I posted them at The Latest Crop of WALMARTIANS in January. Seeing so many of you viewed this post I thought I would share some more.
These are from …
“This site is NOT in anyway affiliated with Walmart. If you are looking for Walmart’s official website you can find it by clicking here
We personally have nothing against Walmart. We, along with most of America, shop at Walmart for nearly everything we need. This site is simply a satirical social commentary of the extraordinary sights found at America’s favorite store. Walmart is Americana baby, Enjoy!
People of Walmart was founded in August of 2009 by three friends and roommates after an inspirational trip to Walmart.
This is purely for entertainment purposes only. We don’t need to see pictures of you and your dumb friends dicking around at Walmart. There is no reason to send us pictures of people that are seriously and unfortunately handicapped so don’t be an asshole. We are trying to have some fun here and there is a difference between someone who is mentally challenged and a person who has a fu Manchu and is still rocking MC Hammer pants.”
If you wish view the following gallery of some of the latest pics submitted by contributors. Click an image to view slideshow …
Again please if you wish to view more go to …
Are you suitably impressed and amazed !!!
- People of Walmart: Another Tranny Edition! (fellowshipofminds.wordpress.com)
Seven year old Susie approached her mother one morning and asked, ‘Mommie how old are you?’ To which her mother responded, ‘Now Susie, that is not a question you should ask a woman.’
Susie then replied, ‘Well, how much do you weigh?’ Once again her mother said, ‘Susie that is another question you never ask a woman.’
Perplexed, Susie was sitting on the steps when her best friend eight year old Anna came by. ‘Why so sad?’ Anna asked. Susie replied, ‘I asked my mother how old she was, and how much she weighed, but she wouldn’t tell me.’
Immediately, the ever worldly Anna put her hands on her hips, lilted to one side and advised Susie to get her mother’s drivers license out of her purse and she could get all the answers.
Triumphantly, Susie marched into the kitchen where her mother was preparing dinner and announced, ‘I saw your driver’s license, and know you are 35 years old.’ She continued with, ‘And I know you weigh 135 pounds.’ Susie’s mother sighed and admitted to her age and weight.
Finally Susie exclaimed, ‘And…I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.’
Puzzled by this remark her mother asked, ‘How do you know this?’ Susie waved the license in the air, and replied: ‘It says right here you got an ‘F’ in sex!!’
Source: Email chain.