Today’s jokes 2 March 2015 …

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Some funny jokes for laughs today …

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That's crazy

That’s crazy

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Great gifs 2 March 2015 …

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Some great gifs for laughs today …

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Hope you enjoyed and had a laugh

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Drunk People Pranks – Just for Laughs Gags …

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Funny gags I know you will love them

Visit Just For Laughs Gags for many more I love them.

I know you had a laugh

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The Italian wedding test …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Leslie.

I was a very happy man.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.

So we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me.

It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.

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My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini skirts, and generally was Bra-less.

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.

I always got more than a nice view.

It had to be deliberate.she never did it around anyone else.

One day she called me and asked me to come over.

‘To check my Sister’s wedding- invitations’ she said.

She was alone when I arrived.

She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me.

She couldn’t overcome them anymore.

She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married.

She said “Before you commit your life to my sister”.

Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn’t say a word

She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom” she said. “if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me”.

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment.

Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lord And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me.

He said, ‘Paulie, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.

We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter.

Welcome to the family my son..’

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

That’s crazy

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Chicken Fried Alive – Just for Laughs Gags …

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Funny gags I know you will love them

Visit Just For Laughs Gags for many more I love them.

I know you had a laugh

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The bingo winner …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Deena.

Man goes into a doctor’s office feeling a little ill.

The doctor checks him over and says, ‘Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It’s called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There’s no known cure so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth. So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the news.

Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he’s never been there with her before.

They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and wins $35.

Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins $320.

Then he gets the full house and wins $5000.

Then the National Game comes up and he wins that too getting $780,000.

The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says, ‘Son, I’ve been here 20 years and I’ve never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full-house and the national game on the same card. You must be the luckiest bastard on Earth!’

‘Lucky?’ he screamed. ‘Lucky? I’ll have you know I’ve got Yellow 24′.

‘F*** me,’ says the bingo caller. ‘You’ve won the meat raffle as well!!!

That’s crazy

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Tea or maybe coffee …

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Funny you will laugh …

Must have been a heavy night! LOL ;)

I know you had a laugh

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GoPro: Majestic Wingsuit Flight in Switzerland …

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Amazing you have to watch …

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The lawyer, a duck and a farmer …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Leslie.

A big city lawyer went duck hunting.

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes here. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.'”

The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”

(I love this part)

The old farmer smiled and said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”

That’s crazy

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The Mexican Maid …

Shared by Bear Tales follower Brian.

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.

The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”

Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.”

“The first is that I iron better than you.”

Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”

Maria: “Jor huzban he say so.”

Wife: “Oh yeah?”

Maria: “The second reason eez that I am a better cook than you.”

Wife: “Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?”

Maria: “Jor hozban did.”

Wife, increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”

Maria: “The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in the bed.”

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth says, “And did my husband say that as well?”

Maria: “No Señora….the gardener did.”

Wife: “So, how much do you want?”

That’s crazy

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